Who Am I?

Cut the bullsh*t

I started this blog in hopes of finding myself. 1 week into it and I feel more lost than ever. I feel like a fraud. I had high hopes that I would give tips and tricks on how to better manage your home, your sandwich status, finances, time, and life.

The reality is, I don’t know what I’m doing. I have these dreams and ambitions to be more, do more, and find out what I was meant to be.

I tend to start out with a dream and then it fizzles out because I fear I’m not good enough, smart enough, strong enough, etc. etc. etc.

The thing is I want all of those things. I want a career that I can stay home with my kids. I want to utilize my education, after all I spent 7 years getting it. I want to be a boss.

I want to be debt free. I want to have my time truly be my time. I don’t want to be told what to do with my time.

I also want to have a functioning home that doesn’t induce stress the minute I walk in……and I don’t mean the sounds of my children fighting (mom humor). I want to find a routine that works for me. I want less things in my home. Less things means less to clean.

I don’t want to trust anyone else to take care of my father. I know that I can do more and do better. The dream goal is that my husband opens his own business once I start working. The thing is, while I trust my husband, I don’t want him carrying the responsibility of caring for my father, while I’m working. But how can I work while also shouldering this responsibility?

Real talk…..I’m a 30 year old mom of three. I have a masters degree. I haven’t worked a real job in 8 years (since I was pregnant with my oldest). I am a caregiver to my disabled veteran father. I have also started taking on the care of my stepmother, who I have a horrible relationship with (think Cinderella without the ball and prince at the end, maybe a little less cleaning). My children are my life. But I want something more. I want something for myself. Yet, I feel like I’m being pulled in five thousand directions, none of which are my own.

I’m so busy running everyone else’s life…….I’ve only been living a fraction of my own. So it stops today.

I’m not going to pretend I have all of the answers. Because, I don’t. What I can tell you non-existent readers, future readers, or Charlotte 10 years from now, I’m just trying to figure it all out.

I don’t want to look back 10 years from now thinking “I should have done this.” Or “If I had only started then.”

So here we go. Welcoming my 30’s and documenting each step of the way.

Will you join me in finding myself?

Who is the Sandwich Generation?

The Sandwich Generation term was originated by Dorothy Miller, a social worker. The term means to be “sandwiched” between caring for children and caring for aging or ailing parents.

The typical age for those in the sandwich generation is between 40 and 59 years. Sandwichers in this age bracket tend to have older adult children and parents in their elder age.

Then there are those like me. Young children, younger ailing parents, and just hit my 30’s. While different, the underlying feelings are the same.

We all feel the same “sandwich.” While each of us have different stories, different trials, and different ways to manage the day, we feel that squeeze.

The desire to do the best, to do more, to do it all, runs us into the ground. We lay in bed kicking ourselves because we forgot to do one thing. We toss and turn, analyzing every decision we made. We wonder are we really doing everything right?

The answer is, WE ARE.

We are only ONE person. We will doubt ourselves, spread ourselves thin, and sometimes lose ourselves in being everything for everyone else.

That’s okay. Just remind yourself, you are ONE person. You do not have to have all the answers. You do not have to do it all. Instead let’s take it one step at a time.

Introduction

While I wear many hats and play many roles, I’m Charlotte.

I am the mother to 3 children Roni (7), Josi (4), and Liam (1). My husband Jeryd and I are high school sweethearts from a “blink and you miss it” small town.

I am also the daughter of a disabled veteran. For the last 7 years I’ve cared for my father. I’ve driven hundreds of miles, to countless appointments, ordered hundreds of medications, and spoken with more specialists than I can keep track of.

In these last 7 years I’ve graduated not once but twice. Most recently with my Masters Degree. It is something I am incredibly proud of.

Yet, when I go to start my life I find myself asking, “But who am I really?” The heart of it comes down to, I am Charlotte, Mom, Caregiver, Wife, Friend.

Members of the Sandwich Generation find hardships in finding time for themselves, finances, and balancing their time. I understand. I live it each and every day.

It’s hard to say exactly who I am. At any given moment I’m wearing multiple hats. Am I Mom? Am I a Caregiver? Am I a wife? Or am I just Charlotte?

Needless to say, I am all of the above. I am a member of what people call the “Sandwich Generation.” While raising my 3 children, I am also caring for my disabled father and step mother. No two days are the same and yet the years seem to pass on in a blur.

For 7 years I’ve been caring for my disabled Veteran father. This last year my step mother’s ailments have caught up with her too. From the physical to the mental disabilities, I’ve been privy to talking with specialists, doctors, emergency room teams, and Veterans waiting to be seen. All while carrying at least one child and typically entertaining two or more.

This blog will be the combination of finding myself and creating a community for other caregivers, moms, and everyone in between to find themselves as well.

I’ll share tips and tricks relating to managing schedules, dividing your time, and finding yourself. Your true self, outside of all the hats you wear.