Category: Sandwich Generation

Just a Mom

It was just a typical day. I had run my errands with the baby, and had just picked up my 4 year old from PreK.

“Mom. I know what I want to be when I grow up.”

“Oh really? What’s that?”

“I want to be a Principal.”

“That’s a great idea.”

“Do I have to go to school to do that?”

“Yes. You would need to be a teacher and then become a principal.”

“Oh I don’t want to do that. Mom did you HAVE to go to school?”

“No. I wanted to go to school.”

“No. I mean to be a Mommy? Did you have to go to school to JUST BE A MOMMY?”

I don’t think she yelled “JUST BE A MOMMY” but it felt like a knife in the heart.

When I was pregnant with my middle child I was in the middle of receiving my Bachelors. I took a year off and then started my master’s program. Me being in school is really all she knew.

Little did my 4 year old know that she struck me right where it hurt. I’ve been focusing on my education so deeply it had become who I was. Here I am 6 months post graduation and still JUST A MOM.

When I focus on everything else I need to take care of, I recognize that I am more than just a mom. Yet when my daughter pointed it out, it hurt. I had all of these ambitions while in school. I’m going to be a corporate woman. I’m going to be a boss woman.

The thing is, we are boss women. As Sandwichers we not only manage our lives, we manage our parent’s lives as well. We are the boss of so much. Sometimes we need to recognize that being “JUST A MOMMY” (as my 4 yr old put it) is a bigger job than what give ourselves credit for.

Sandwichers take on the role of so much for so many.

Who is the Sandwich Generation?

The Sandwich Generation term was originated by Dorothy Miller, a social worker. The term means to be “sandwiched” between caring for children and caring for aging or ailing parents.

The typical age for those in the sandwich generation is between 40 and 59 years. Sandwichers in this age bracket tend to have older adult children and parents in their elder age.

Then there are those like me. Young children, younger ailing parents, and just hit my 30’s. While different, the underlying feelings are the same.

We all feel the same “sandwich.” While each of us have different stories, different trials, and different ways to manage the day, we feel that squeeze.

The desire to do the best, to do more, to do it all, runs us into the ground. We lay in bed kicking ourselves because we forgot to do one thing. We toss and turn, analyzing every decision we made. We wonder are we really doing everything right?

The answer is, WE ARE.

We are only ONE person. We will doubt ourselves, spread ourselves thin, and sometimes lose ourselves in being everything for everyone else.

That’s okay. Just remind yourself, you are ONE person. You do not have to have all the answers. You do not have to do it all. Instead let’s take it one step at a time.

Introduction

While I wear many hats and play many roles, I’m Charlotte.

I am the mother to 3 children Roni (7), Josi (4), and Liam (1). My husband Jeryd and I are high school sweethearts from a “blink and you miss it” small town.

I am also the daughter of a disabled veteran. For the last 7 years I’ve cared for my father. I’ve driven hundreds of miles, to countless appointments, ordered hundreds of medications, and spoken with more specialists than I can keep track of.

In these last 7 years I’ve graduated not once but twice. Most recently with my Masters Degree. It is something I am incredibly proud of.

Yet, when I go to start my life I find myself asking, “But who am I really?” The heart of it comes down to, I am Charlotte, Mom, Caregiver, Wife, Friend.

Members of the Sandwich Generation find hardships in finding time for themselves, finances, and balancing their time. I understand. I live it each and every day.